Reviw: Isle of the Dead (2016

Review: Isle of the Dead (2016)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

 

This time I’m reviewing a zombie film done by my buddies at The Asylum. Oh joy…

A military squad is sent to a deserted island in the Pacific Ocean in order to secure top secret records involving a zombie epidemic that wiped out the large scientific team experimenting with various test chemicals and toxins which leads to the team battling not only zombies, but the lone surviving scientist who has plans for the future of the human race.

For those of you not is the know The Asylum is best known for their outrageous Sharknato films and their Mockbusters… basically crap films. Films that are shot in three to four days with budgets of 80s sitcoms. These are simple garbage popcorn films that you watch for stars that are ready to retire, horrible acting film school CGI, but with a lot of heart and an understanding that this is cheap snack food and the films you get when you are drunk or in a hurry and quickly grab the first thing that remotely sounds like the hot blockbuster. It is no different here.

This film is a feast of tacky zombie fun with bad acting…they dare call these losers a Seal team…, lots of mindless zombie attacks, and of course no morality in the story, just lots of machine gun fire, mindless violence, and gallons of fake blood. Fun for any zombie movie fan and something The Asylum does well.

If you love a good bloody zombie film with lots of killing and no one really trying to do a good performance this is the film for you and I highly highly recommend it.

Keep on Creepin’ Horror Bob’s Blog…

 

Review: The Hem (2025)

Review: The Hem (2025)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

Ok, I got you yet another found footage film…

A documentary crew investigates a haunted church on the verge of collapse with one condition: they must be out by dark. Unfortunately for them, they get locked in and must face the terror the night brings.

Sadly, this film is a by the numbers found footage film with nothing to it that makes it special or in any way interesting.

The location looks like any other abandoned building. The place is supposed to be a church but I don’t  get a church feel from it. There is nothing at all that says this was a church. It could literally be an old office building. On top of that you get a very sparce outline of the history of the place.

None of the characters stand out. You just don’t  give a shit about them because they are complete strangers.

The sequence with the police cam footage look AI generated. I’m  serious, it looks fake as shit.

The only positive thing  I have to say about this film is it didn’t have any shaky cam, like too many of these films have.

And come on (spoiler) you end up finding out the evil is a haunted wedding dress. That made me shake my head and regret considering watching this film. The title should have given me a clue. Poor me.

Finally, in regard to spooky stuff there is only a couple of things and they happen so fast you don’t  have time to even acknowledge anything’s happened.

So, all and all if you are not obsessed with found footage and could care less about such things as story, characters, or actual scared you might void this film.

If not it’s on Tubi TV.

Keep on Creepin’ Horror Bob’s Blog…

Review: Devil's Revenge (2019)

Review: Devil's Revenge (2019)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

 

Oh boy, this time I’m reviewing a horror film with William Shatner in it…

John Brock is a down-on-his-luck archaeologist who returns from an expedition to the caves of rural Kentucky after unsuccessfully trying to locate a mysterious relic that his family has sought for generations. Upon his return, John starts to see dream-like visions of a ferocious bird-like creature from ancient folklore. John soon learns that the cave he came into contact with on his last expedition was indeed the cave that contains the relic and also a portal to Hell and a place of worship for the Occult. John discovers that the only way tostop the increasingly realistic visions is to go back to the cave with his family, find the relic once and for all, and destroy it.

Ok, well I went into this film not expecting much and I got my wish.

This film feels like it was written and directed by people who never went to film school. The plot in this film is a muddled piece of Shat. The writing is also Shat. The demons looked ok, but they look like something you’d find walking around a convention. The supposed family in this film didn’t  in any way feel like a family. There was no real atmosphere or even scares…Well, except for William Shatner’s performance as the main character’s father. Bill plays a nasty tempered old man who orders his son into not only risking himself but his family. This was definitely the worst performance of Shatner’s career. It is pure unadulterated Shat. I honestly felt sorry for Star Trek Voyager actress Jeri Ryan for having to be stuck in this Shatfest. Jeri plays the main character’s wife. She plays her way through what was given to her with her usual charm…Poor Jeri.

To put it simply unless you are a stickler for pain or want to see Shatner at his worst I warn you to avoid.

If you want to go against my warning you can find this piece of Shat on Tubi TV. I pity you…

Keep on Creepin’ Horror Bob’s Blog…

 

Review: The Breach (2022)

Review: The Breach (2022)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog…

 

This time I got a thriller/ Lovecraftian horror for you…

Based on the novel by Nick Cutter (The Troop) and screenplay written by Cutter and Ian Weir, THE BREACH tells the story of John Hawkins, counting down his last days as Chief of Police in the tiny town of Lone Crow nestled deep in the desolate woods of Northern Ontario. But when a mangled body with uncanny wounds washes up on the shores of the Porcupine River, he's pulled into a horrific mystery that defies comprehension.

This film is an interest mystery with touches of body horror and creature fun. It has some good atmosphere along with some good practical FX.The skinless things the people turn onto look great. As well as a nice touch of the good ole Lovecraftian creepiness. The only downside to this film is it is a slow burn which can be an issue for Gen Xers. I mean after all they need immediate gratification and this film takes it’s  time. This isn’t a problem for me but youngsters might have an issue with the pace and all the complex dialogue.

Still, I have to say I enjoyed it. It’s  nothing fantastic, but it was an interesting ride and I give it my recommendation.

You can find this film on Tubi TV…

Keep on Creepin’ Horror Bob’s Blog…

 

Review: The Awakening

Review: The Awakening (2011)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

This time we are reviewing a good old fashioned ghost/paranormal story…

In 1921, England is overwhelmed by the loss and grief of World War I. Hoax exposer Florence Cathcart visits a boarding school to explain sightings of a child ghost. Everything she believes unravels as the 'missing' begin to show themselves.

His film is an excellent period piece, that period being the period after the first world war in England and the upsurge in the spiritual movement. Our main character is a brilliantly performed young female ghost hunter/debunker who has a bunch of psychological baggage to deal with. The story is in line with such memorable classics as The Turning of the Screw, The Innocents, The Haunting, The Shining, and my favorite, The Legend of Hell House.

Featuring brilliant writing, atmosphere and chills this film can get nothing less than an AWESOMETACULAR from me…

Keep on Creepin’ Horror Bob’s Blog…

Review: Destroy This Tape (2025)

Review: Destroy This Tape (2025)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

 

This time I got yet another hybrid found footage film to review…

In 2007, a group of five teenagers went camping in the woods of Alpine Oaks Provincial Park, never to return. All that was found was a ruined campsite and a camcorder holding the footage of their final days.

Ok, as stated above this film is a hybrid take on a found footage film. This is a subgenre of found footage that annoys the purists.

The first 35 minutes of this film is standard found footage with the bad film quality and glitches. It is about a standard group of teenagers who camp in a bad place and get murdered by a masked killer who lives in the woods…as I said standard issue. But then it suddenly changes into a standard film about a failing author who has decided to save his career by doing a true crime novel about the missing kids and the masked serial killer. The beginning of the author’s portion is him trying to interview people from the area. He is a bit of a dick  (personally I like the fellow) and gets told to fuck off. Of course, then he goes and decides to stay at the crime scene and investigate and that is when the film actually gets interesting. He finds a survivor  and the owner of the “murder cabin” who seems like a very chill, friendly, person. Stupid, arrogant, people in the woods with a purported killer are so much fun. The twist made me laugh my ass off. To put it simply this film goes completely Stephen King.

All in all I loved this film. As an author I loved the humor. Most found footage films are so dry, but this one actually put a smile on my face.

If you are obsessive about fan footage films you will hate this. But if you are a fan of a certain Stephen King book you will be in stitches. This film is brilliant to me and I highly recommend it to Stephen King fans…lol…

Keep on Creepin’ Horror Bob’s Blog…

Review: The Devil's Left Hand (2023)

Review: The Devil's Left Hand (2023)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

 

This time I got a low budget  demonic film…

A demonic entity breaches a Medium at a young couple's housewarming party, wreaking havoc and terrifying the attendees. After the party, the entity begins stalking the guests. They attempt to fight back, but don't know who they can trust as the Demon can shape-shift and appear to be anyone. The stakes grow higher when the Demon begins killing them, one by one.

 Really enjoyed this film. It reminded me a bit of Witchboard. Even the main ghost in the film has that Malfador vide to him. It isn’t so much like Witchboard in plot, but in execution. It is a lower budget film but the filmmaker at least for 90 percent of the production used the budget to it’s advantage. The actors worked very well. I had no issues at all with their performances.

 I liked how they used sound FX and simple FX for the supernatural occurrences rather than going overboard and trying to do too much. This way the story and the character stand out.

Unfortunately, I noted from the reviews on IMDB that a lot of reviewers felt the pace of the film was too slow. I think that is more a generational thing because I had no problem with the pace at all. I, in fact, felt this film provided a lot more than the usual flashy horror/ paranormal outting.

Unfortunately, the end of this film is it’s  undoing. It seems like the film ran out of funds before completion and a quick and blunt ending had to be patched together. The truth is the ending doesn’t even feel like an ending. It feels like things were building up only for the film to suddenly stop. I was horribly disappointed. I was enjoying the film and would have recommend it if it had an actual end. Given the “ending” I can’t  recommend this film.. I feel really disappointed. This film had potential, but I guess the budget killed it. I’ve  only had this happen a couple times in all the thousands of films I’ve viewed. Sorry people…

Keep on Creepin’ Horror Bob’s Blog…