Review: House of the Wolfman

Review: House of the Wolfman
by William Pattison, aka Eric Morse
For Horror Bob's Blog


For my review this time I got a retro horror film by Eben Mcgarr, House of the Wolfman.
Five strangers; athlete Reed Chapel and his twin sister aspiring scientist Mary Chapel along with expert antique authenticator Conrad Sullivan, great white hunter Archibald Whitlock, and woman of mystery Elmira Cray; are invited to the creepy castle of Doctor Bela Reinhardt (played by Lon Chaney’s grandson Ron Chaney) under the pretense that one of them would be made Reinhardt’s heir and inherit the castle along with all his scientific research. The all find out the share a common link, their mothers had been attacked, ravaged, disfigured, and left pregnant. Also, none of them knew who their real fathers are. Things get creepy as Whitlock along with his servants discover odd animal tracks outside the castle. They find they are being observed by some who is looking through holes in the eyes of the portraits in their rooms. Also, Elmira discovers an old gypsy lady in the tower room who claims to be Reinhardt’s mother and says that Reinhardt has secrets including the fact that his real name is Frankenstein. Soon Reinhardt reveals the horrifying true reason for bringing them together.
I found this a very amusing attempt at creating the final installment of Universal studio’s unfinished trilogy. The storyline is very authentic. The dialogue is nearly spot on, but feels a bit off. The acting could have been better. Though the actors tried to duplicate the acting style of the time they ended up being a bit over the top and almost comical. Though filmed in black and white the film has no graininess to it, which helps spoil the feel that this could have been made in the 40s. Also, the sound is too clean as well, it sounds way too modern. The filmmaker would have done well to add sound crackles, grain, and scratches to artificially age the film. Finally, the makeup work, though trying to pay homage to the classic Universal films, looks too modern and overly detailed. Having the monsters wear contact lenses took away from the 30s and 40s feel of the makeup. The Frankenstein’s monster makeup looked practically like the one used in the modern Universal Monster film, Van Helsing. Also, the Wolfman makeup could have been a rejected version made for the remake of The Wolfman rather than being anywhere near the classic makeup worn by Lon Chaney Jr.  Also, Dracula’s three female vampire companions at the end of the film looked way too modern and detailed, which was actually annoying to me. The only monster that comes off spot on is Count Dracula, who is actually played masterfully by Michael R.Thomas, though painfully short in duration.
All in all House of the Wolfman is a good try. If Eden Mcgarr and crew had simply tried to create a Universal style gothic film without trying to put their own spin on it, this film could have been the masterpiece it should have been. Remember, people, less is more.  If you are a fan of the classics you won’t cringe, but after watching this film you will be tempted to pull out your DVD collection of the classic Universal monster films and see the good stuff.

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Review: Porn Shoot Massacre
By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse

For this month’s movie review I thought I’d enter the world of crossed genres with an amusing and tacky homage to both slasher and porno films, Corbin Timbrook’s Porn Shoot Massacre.
Misty, Sondra, Junie, Tina, S&M Queen Beretta, and Midget Tiny have all come together to do an epic porno film. The new hot director on the scene, Malfini, says that this film will have something for every porno fan’s taste. So the girls come to the set, which is in an old labyrinth like warehouse. When the girls get on set some of them are a bit suspicious of their director. His mustache and goatee look glued on and he wears dark glasses and a tacky hairpiece. Also, he seems oddly familiar. Still, Malfini is paying them three times what they’ve gotten for any porno film, so they play along. After all what could possibly happen? What Misty and the other actresses don’t know is their concerns are well founded. The truth is a masked killer is stalking the warehouse and what Malfini has forgotten to inform them is that he is not actually creating  a porno film, but a snuff film and Misty and her associates are the featured victims..
What I loved about this film is it combines the stereotypical, and amusingly tacky, aspects of both porno films and slasher films. The film is shot on low grade video with low grade lighting, and has the low grade music you get in most porno films. It also has the creative kills any gorehound will appreciate.
 The film starts out with a shower scene or opening actress Christy (Played by extremely busty Shelly Martinez), which is a stereotypical of both a porno and slasher films. Christy after having a tackily written scene chatting on her phone with her agent and bringing up the film shoot gets killed shortly after outside her home by the killer who is shown from either his chest down or his feet as he suffocates Christy by putting a plastic bag over her head and tightening it around her neck.
 The killer turns out to be a silent killing machine that looks like he made his mask out of a jock strap. He is very much a Jason-like killer that uses what he has at hand. He impales one girl with a knife through a wall into her back. He uses a very large hammer and beats the S&M girl, Beretta, in the stomach several times. Impressively, enough this film even has a final girl, which is one of the only two girls that don’t have sex scenes in the film.
 I have to applaud Timbrook’s casting of Robert Ambrose, who looks quite a bit like horror icon Robert Englund, as Malfini. While watching this film I could almost see Robert Englund in this part. Also, I laughed my ass off at Richard Little’s performance as Tiny. Richard also bares a striking resemblance to Jackass’ We Man.
All in all if you are a horror fan and are amused by tacky porno films, like myself  (Seriously, they can be funny as hell) you will love this film….Trust me…

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Review: Abraham Lincoln VS Zombies

Review: Abraham Lincoln VS Zombies
By William Pattison Aka Eric Morse
For The Horror Bob Blog

The production company The Asylum has gotten a bad reputation over the years with the horror community. After all they are the people who put out the horrid mockbusters that a person might grab by mistake or order by mistake via streaming. They are also are the people that pollute our horror movie viewing with tacky monster films like Sharktipus or Two Headed Shark Attack. But, every bad production company has the potential to create one truly good film among the masses of crap they produce. Such a film is the one I’m reviewing this time. That glowing jewel in The Asylum’s crap pile is Abraham Lincoln VS Zombies…
What? You say. But it’s just another of their damned mockbusters! Actually, no. This is not just one of their damned mockbusters. This is a well written and well acted film with incredible authentic locations.
This film tells the story of how while President Lincoln is laboring over the Gettysburg Address he finds out that a horror from his childhood has resurfaced and is threatening his war torn nation. A single survivor of a failed attempt to take a Confederate fort informs Lincoln, before succumbing to the zombie plague, that he and his men were attacked by hoards of enemy soldiers and civilians who proceeded to rip them apart and eat them. Fearing for the future of the nation President Lincoln along with a group of Federal agents, include his future assassin John Wilkes Booth, make their way deep into enemy territory in order to deal with the undead threat. Upon entering the fort and securing it Lincoln finds that there are only four Confederate soldiers alive, including, amusingly, General Stonewall Jackson and a soldier named Pat Garrett. Taking a few agents with him Lincoln heads to the nearby town to look for survivors. He finds after he and his men have to take shelter in the town’s bordello that only three prostitutes and a young boy named Teddy Roosevelt have survived. One of the prostitutes, Mary Owens (played by Baby Norman) is also the woman Abe Lincoln was once in love with. Now both Union agents and Confederate soldiers must work together to defeat the hoards of the undead before the zombie plague can spread.
This is an amazingly well done film for its modest budget of $150,000. It was shot on location in Savannah, Georgia, thus giving it a very authentic look.
The story by Karl T. Hirsch and J. Lauren Proctor, and screenplay by Richard Schenkman, wonderfully melds historical events with the fantasy situation.  They include Lincoln giving is legendary Gettysburg Address and even put in situations leading up to the President’s assassination at the hands of John Wilkes Booth.
The performances in this film are top notch.  Actor Don McGraw gives a wonderful performance as General Stonewall Jackson. Young actor Canon Kuipers proves his acting chops as Young Teddy Roosevelt. Jason Vail provides a quiet menace as Federal agent John Wilkinson aka John Wilkes Booth. But, it is Emmy Award winning actor Bill Oberst Jr’s stunning, and once in a lifetime, portrayal as President Abraham Lincoln that steals the show. Bill brings Lincoln to life and causes the viewer to feel honest emotion at the conclusion of this film.
Honestly, though I do await the big budget Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter film I doubt it will have the heart this film has. If you are a fan of films like Bubba Ho-Tep or Shadow of the Vampire, you need to add this film to your collection.

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Review: Womb, aka Clone

Review: Womb, aka Clone
By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse
For Horror Bob Blog

For my review this time I’ve got an art house Sci Fi film from filmmaker Benedek Fliegauf, Womb, also known as Clone.
This film tells the story of Rebecca (played by Eva Green, Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows) and her life long friend and love of her life Thomas (played by Matt Smith, the current Doctor Who). When Thomas is hit and killed by a car while parking along the side of the road so Rebecca could go take a pee, Rebecca out of guilt and the fact that she can’t live without Thomas decides to clone Thomas and uses her body to bring about Thomas’s rebirth. As the film progresses we see Thomas grow up thinking that Rebecca as his mother. We also see Rebecca’s torture as Thomas grows into a man and his interest turns to other woman. Things fall apart when the original Thomas’s mother shows up and sees the clone. She doesn’t say a work, but looks on to her dead son with pain and walks away. Now Rebecca has to face the fact that she has kept Thomas’s origins from him and now Thomas is asking some very uncomfortable questions.
This film mostly takes place in a muddy moor area with a single house on stilts in the middle of nowhere. The only high technology presented in this film is a couple of Apple laptops and a small creepy interactive robot dinosaur that Thomas and a friend ends up burying alive. Even Rebecca giving birth to Thomas isn’t even shown. Eva Green gives a very quiet and rather drab performance as Rebecca. Her performance is very subtle but is affective. The main problem I had with Matt Smith’s performance as Thomas was that it was pretty much his character from Doctor Who without the wardrobe and police box. There was only a couple of scenes where Smith actually showed a bit of anger but mostly he is just jabbery.
This film is definitely not for your common sci fi fan. Unless you are a fan of slow burning art house films that are bare bones seventy-five percent technology free and mostly character driven you will not enjoy this film at all.

Review: The Innkeepers

Review: The Innkeepers
By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse
For Horror Bob Blog

For this month’s review I got an atmospheric ghost story, Ti West’s film The Innkeepers.
The Yankee Peddler Inn is literally on its last legs. In a matter of days it will be getting the wrecking ball. For Claire and Luke, the last two members of the staff, this is the perfect time for them to pull out their ghost hunting kits and have one final crack at capturing the Inn’s infamous ghost, Madeline O'Malley. After all they only have two sets of guests in the Inn to deal with and the run of the place, since the owner is in the Bahamas. But what Claire and Luke don’t realize is that while they are hunting the ghost the ghost is hunting them.
The best way to describe The Innkeepers is that it is the poor man’s The Shining. This film is not for the horror fan that can’t handle a slow burn film. This film is full of atmosphere, character development, and clever dialogue. There are a number of jump scares and creepy incidents, but this is far from the rollercoaster ride most horror films now a days seem to be. When the final payoff happens some viewers will be scratching their heads, but for those who manage to catch the clues you’ll find the wait worth it.
Actress Sara Paxton gives a fantastic performance as the plain Jan staff member/armature ghost hunter Claire. Equally, Pat Healy gives a wonderful performance as Claire’s mentor and ghost hunter Luke. Also part of the cast and putting in another outstanding performance is Kelly McGillis as the actress turned psychic Leanne Rease-Jones.
The Innkeepers is not the film for the average horror fan, but if you like your horror with a good psychological punch and good characterization this is the film for you.

Review: The Cabin in The Woods

Review: The Cabin in The Woods
By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse
For Horror Bob Blog

On Friday the 13th screenwriter Victor Miller made a surprise visit to my internet radio show, The Eric Morse Project. During the show Victor presented my crew, The Wolf Pack and I a challenge. He asked us to go see the new film, The Cabin in the Woods, and review it both in print and on my show. So, loving a challenge, I went and saw the film the next day on Saturday….

The film starts out as most every modern horror film. We are introduced to five  college students who are going for the weekend at a cabin owned by a relative of one of them. We are also introduced to two research scientists who seem to enjoy their work. Something big is going on, an experiment that appear to be copied all over the world. It’s a competition it appears and they want to beat the Japanese. We learn later how this connects to our group of college kids.

Driving through the woods the kids drive up to a decrepit looking gas station that appears to be closed. In typical movie fashion look in the gas station and find the typical creepy guy running the place. The guy gives them the standard warning, but the kids ignore him and continue to the cabin. On the way they enter a tunnel and come out on the other side of a deep ravine. A bird flies across the ravine and is immediately roasted on an invisible energy wall in the ravine. What the hell was that, the viewer asks. Welcome to the real movie.

The Cabin in the Woods is both a statement on modern horror and an experiment unto itself. We find out that the research scientists are monitoring the college students. We also find out that they are manipulating these kids and through drugs and suggestion turning them into the stereotypical slasher film characters. One girl they made dumber through the blond hair dye she used. One of the guys is being made more macho and aggressive through the beer he’s drinking. This is all being noticed by the druggie of the group, who brought his own bong, that transforms into a thermal mug in moments. He seems to be fighting the control.

At one point after they are well settled in the cabin (so much so that the bleach blond gets oral with a wolf’s head on the wall), and amusingly without suspicion, a trapped door opens leading to the basement of the house. There the kids find an assortment of items, including a remotely familiar puzzle device, a music box with dancing ballerina, and most importantly a diary. The supposed virgin of the group (though she has just got done having a sexual relationship with her teacher..) starts reading from the diary, including the Latin passages on resurrecting the dead, thus releasing a horde of redneck sadomasochistic zombies loose to kill them.

Now that would be enough for one horror film, but Cabin in the Woods is special. We find out that the reason the scientist have played puppet masters and put these kids in this grizzly situation is because they need the blood and the deaths of five people of a certain sort appease the ancient gods who once ruled the world. If they don’t the old ones will rise and the human race will fall.

You would think that with all this going for it I’d be blown away by  this film…sorry. The problem with this film is the problem with most modern horror films, high concept, but lack of tension and uneven characterization. The problem is this film is actually two films in one, the main story and the background story. We end up getting to know the scientists better than we do the college kids, thus we end up lacking sympathy for the victims. Also, whenever there is a kill for some reason the filmmakers cut to the control room and the scientists and break the tension of the scenes.

Also screenwriter, Josh Wheaton, throws way too many references not only to his own works, but also to films like Hellraiser and Silent Hill. The final payoff is a chaos of blood and monster FX with a special cameo that really didn’t have the wow factor given everything that comes before.

As an experiment The Cabin in the Woods is interesting, but as a horror film it lacks tension and is shallow where it should be sympathetic. If you are a modern film geek you’ll love  the myriad of references, including the fact that the cabin itself  looked like the one in Evil Dead. Also, gore hounds will love the gore though it lacks the punch. So really in the end it will depend on the viewer as to what they do or do not get out of this film. For me I was unimpressed…Keep on Creepin' Horror Bob  Blog.....

Movie Review: Familiar

Movie Review: Familiar

By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse

For The Horror Bob Blog

 

As a reviewer, I rarely do reviews on short films. I mean, after all, usually these films only get limited festival runs and rarely get put on DVD, except when they’re jammed in with a mix of other short films both good and bad, in compilation editions. But, when producer Zach Green contacted me on Facebook and asked me to check out his latest short film, Familiar, and do the review, I thought why not. I was pleasantly surprised.

Writer/director Richard Powell’s short film, Familiar, tells the story of John Dodd, who appears at first as a middle aged man who is going through a mid-life crisis and hates his family and his life. We get this idea because we hear a voiceover that from the start of the film says critical and negative observations about John’s life. Supposedly, John wants his freedom. Unfortunately, we find out that his wife, Charlotte, is pregnant. The voice, which we assume, is John’s thoughts convince John that his wife, who already has a teenaged daughter by him, is trying to further imprison him with this unborn child. We see John as he end the pregnancy by spiking his wife’s food with abortion drugs. After his wife loses the baby she suggests they try again. It is at this point that we find out that the voiceover isn’t John but something else. The voice tries to convince John to overdose his wife, but John refuses. But, what is this voice? Does John have a split personality?  Is it simply John’s negative side expressing its self? The truth we find is much more horrifying and leads to a very bloody ending.

This film is well written and well acted. John Nolan gives an excellent performance as John Dodd and as the voice of the other. The FX for the final reveal is top rate and definitely provides the payoff. If you like good characterization, an intriguing plot twist, and bloody gore you will not be disappointed.

 

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