Review: Frankenstein Island (1981)

Review; Frankenstein Island (1981)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

This time I got a 1981 Frankenstein film that stars John Carradine

Frankenstein Island (1981)

 

Jeremy Lunt <durlinlunt@acadia.net>

 

When a hot air balloon crashes on a remote island, the crew discovers Dr. Frankenstein's descendant, Dr. Sheila Frankenstein, carrying on the family work, along with a race of mutants and a population of Amazon warriors. Somehow, the Frankenstein Monster is also thrown into the mix.

If there was ever a film that entiplifies the word absurd this is the film. The fact that this film was made and came out in the era that brought us Star Wars and ET shows just how insane this film is because this film is literally a film that is out of time. It is a film that should have come out on the late 60s, not 1981. The production values, music, storyline, andacting look at least 15 years out of date .

One time horror icons John Carradine and Cameron Michelle had to have been royally in need of money to have accepted the roles they ended up with. John Carradine plays Doctor Frankenstein, who is now a cult leader who has died and cames back as a projectíon who spouts monologues. Cameron Mitchelle plays a crazy man who spouts quotes from Edgar Allen Poe and morns his dead Lenore and stalks one of the tribal women that supposedly looks like her

Oh, and Frankenstein’s monster shows up atOne point for no good reason, but it is the best part of the movie bevause the gentleman who was playing the monster did a picture perfect performance of the classic James Whales Frankenstein monster. Boris Karloff what be proud. Unfortunately, the rest of the film is just plain weird and badly acted and produced. This film is FRANKENFREAKY and you will need a ton of pot and acid to make sense of this funky throwback to the time when hippies ruled the world…in no ways an 80s film…

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog…

 

Review: The Last Frankenstein (2021)

Review: The Last Frankenstein (2021)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

This time I’m reviewing an independent low budget Frankenstien film I’ve never heard about, which is rare…Oh boy!

Buried in a dormant life and a dead end relationship, Dr. Jason Frankenstein, the last of his family, finds himself frustratingly approaching the middle of his life with little progress to show towards carrying forward his family's experiment. But after a creature from his past brutally re-enters his life, he is catalyzed to finally complete his work. With the help of a pair of drug dealing paramedics and a nurse with a shady past, he sets down the blood-soaked path to create a living being from the bodies of the dead.

Now just to let you know I’m a Frankenstein fanatic. I love Frankenstein films. I love a serious Frankenstein film. I love tacky, freaky Frankenstein films. I’ve  never found a Frankenstein film that didn’t entertain me, until today…

This film is a boring, slow paced, mess with no talent, except for the poor camera man who did an excellent job shooting this turd. The acting is wooden. The main character and the guy playing him is a hopeless loser. Seriously, this guy played the part with no heart at all. He was just speaking lines. He is supposed to be married but there was nothing there. And, when it came down to it it was the same with even the guys playing the creatures in the film, though the last one did a little better, which isn’t saying much.

And, speaking about the creatures, they were all guys wearing cheap masks. There was no real attempt at making a creature worthy of the name Frankenstein.

To put it simply this film was a horrible waste of time and a blatant insult to the title of Frankenstein. This film is royally FRANKENSHIT!!! Avoid like the plague..

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog…

Review: Hellraiser Rebute (2022)

Review: Hellraiser Rebute (2022)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

Ok, now we finish our marathon of Hellraiser reviews with the Hulu Hellraiser Rebute.

Haunted by pain and guilt, Riley has struggled for years to break her addictions. After a heated argument with her brother, she and her boyfriend stumble upon a mysterious box in an abandoned storage warehouse. Convinced they have struck gold, their early retirement plan takes a dark turn when Riley unwittingly unlocks its secrets. Suddenly, people around her start to vanish or die. As she uncovers a disturbing connection between the artefact and a shady American investor with a penchant for the occult, Riley uncovers a terrifying truth: the enigmatic object serves as a gateway for the Hell Priestess and the Cenobites. With exquisite suffering as the ultimate reward, what if one person's angels are another's demons?

After the disastrous period Hellraiser needed a well deserved Rebute and Hulu has done this brilliantly.

For one thing they have given us reimagined Cenobites that far more resemble the ones in Clive Barker’s bovella. Their “clothing” is actually made from their own skin. The Hell Priest is actually played by  transsexual actress, Jamie Clayton,  makes her Pinhead not really either gender, like in the.story. all the other Cenobites, including an updated Chatterer are some of the best put on screen in years.

Even the iconic puzzle box is updated. Now the box marks its victims by cutting them and drawing blood. Also this box radically changes its shat with each use. As well in this version of the puzzle also requires sacrifices as well. And, at the end the survivor of the puzzle gets a choice of fates, but in this game nothing is as expected.

What this film strongly reminds me of is the remake of Evil Dead in that it is clearly Hellraiser but it is enhanced and in some ways more brutal. It is the perfect Rebute after all the damage done to the franchise by Dimension. I really see if handled by the correct hand this could lead to Hellraiser being better than ever. The pain could be wonderous!

If you are a Hellraiser fan, this is the film you’ve been waiting years for.

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s blog…

 

Review:Hellraiser Judgement (2018)

Review: Hellraiser Judgement (2018)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

Now it is my pleasure to review the final Dimension Hellraiser film.

Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)

 

Detectives Sean and David Carter are on the case, to hunt down a gruesome serial killer terrorising the city. Joining forces with Detective Christine Egerton, they dig deeper into a spiralling maze of horror that may not be of this world. Could the judgement awaiting the killer's victims also be waiting for Sean and can he survive Leviathan’s Cult of Judgement?

I am of two minds when it comes to this film. I really find the new group of Cenobites, The Cult of Judgement, interesting and a breath of fresh. I also like that in this film we firmly establish that there is more than one Hell Priest in Hell since the one in the cult is clearly not the Pinhead we’ve known, which also helps my head canon with Hellraiser Revelations and the fat Pinhead.

I really like the Hell Proest in this film. He is a lot like our old Pinhead but there are enough differences, shit his costume is different. He seems to be Leviathan’s contact person between it and the cult. I really liked that.

I also liked the unique way the cult serves Leviathan. Their methods and goals are different from The Gash. They seduce extremely evil people and through putting them through the tests of Judgement they determine if the person’s soul is worthy of Hell. A plain old naughty person isn’t enough. They want prime evilness to brim to their master, basically they are the Gordon Rameses of Hell. Good stuff in my book.

What I hated about this film was that the serial killer in this film was a carbon copy of the killer in SEVEN. Come on people! You give us a total new group of Cenobites but get cheap with the killer. I was pissed and disappointed when I saw this. This film could have saved Hellraiser and steered it in a new direction with a new set of Cenobites. Also, in this film they brought in the angels and did something very interesting with that plot line, but spoilers… let’s  just say Heaven isn’t put in a good light.

The ending of this film was a lost opportunity that would have made an interesting next film, but allas.

All in all as a Hellraiser film this one is ok. It kind of reminded me of the original Hellraiser comics where they played with the mythos in interesting ways. But this film does not have the strength nor brutalness to reenergize the series. We’d  have to wait for the reboot for that…

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog…

 

 

Review:Hellraiser Revelations (2011)

Review:Hellraiser Revelations( 2011)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog…

This time we got the first domension Hellraiser film to get a theatrical release, unfortunately..

Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)

 

In search of adventure, American friends Steven and Nico document their road trip to Tijuana on camera. However, they are in for a nasty surprise. At a local bar, a stranger gives them a puzzle cube, promising extraordinary experiences to those who can solve it. Instead, the two friends vanish without a trace. A year later, their grieving relatives gather for dinner, having long abandoned hope of ever seeing their boys again. Pretty soon, they discover firsthand that some doors are best left closed. With disturbing raw footage revealing that pain is the ultimate pleasure, and the interdimensional Cenobites at their doorstep, are they prepared for an eternity of suffering at Pinhead's hands?

The only good thing about this film is it was a film meant to be a Hellraiser film. The bad part was this film was only made to keep the Hellraiser copyright with Dimension. The production was rushed and the budget was cut so bad that this film actually looks like a bad fan film. Also because the budget was cut they only offered Doug Bradley the insulting amount of only $3,000 to play Pinhead. Doug told them to shove it. He had had enough.

So, Dimension hired actor Stephen Smith Collins for the part of Pinhead. This was a mistake because Collins bore no resemblance to Bradey in voice,  facial structure, or even body type.on top of that because of the budget Collins wore a  cheap Pinhead costume that was actually rented from a costume shop making him look fat in the illfitting outfit. The other Cenobites didn’t care better. The Chatterer wore a cheap mask that didn’t allow his teeth to   chatter. The only new Cenobyte the Nailhead had to wear an extra production Chatterer body suit that didn’t fit.

Though the film was clearly a Hellraiser scrip it didn’t expand the mythos and in fact reused ideas from Hellraiser and Hellbound.

The acting in the film matched the fan film quality of the rest of the production.

So, just to end the pain, if you love fan films you might get a bit of enjoyment, but if you are looking for a true Hellraiser experience it’s time to bring out those mind altering drugs yet again…NOW IT’S A PARTY!!!

Keep On Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog…

Hellraiser Hellworld (2005)

Review: Hellraiser Hellworld (2005)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog…

This time I have yet another of those incredible direct to video Hellraiser films…

 

A group of teenagers have become big fans of the latest Hellraiser video game -- so much so that they create a tribute website called "Hellworld.com," which simulates a digital Lament Configuration in cyberspace. However, Pinhead is not at all happy with this turn of events, and decides to take action against the them, luring them to a party where their frightening fantasies become a far more disturbing reality.

This is yet another attempt by Dimension  to reuse an unused script in their archive and paste on Hellraiser elements to create a Frankenmovie.

·       The original script that became Hellworld was a story about a father getting revenge on the kids who he blamed for the death of his videogame adicted son. Nothing Hellraiser was involved in the film originally and it really shows in the finished product. This film would be the last film to feature Doug   Bradley as Pinhead. The problem is the Pinhead in this film doesn’t act at all like the  Cenobyte we know. This Pinhead is just a boring killer who doesn’t even really tortures his victims. Pathetic. The real Cenobytes show up at the end but Dimension actually used already used footage from Hellraiser Deader in this film to save money. Pathetic.

If you are a Hellraiser fan, don’t waste your time. Worse yet is the fact that this is the sad ending for Doug Bradley as Pinhead. The reason why is because Dimension gave him a disgusting low amount to play on this film and then offered him an insulting amount for the next one.

So, as stated before, don’t waste your time. This film is garbage and is in no way a true Hellraiser…

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s blog…

 

Review:Hellraiser Hellseeker (2002)

Review: Hellraiser Hellseeker (2002)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

This time I’m doing yet another direct to video Hellraiser movie that not only features Pinhead, but Kirsty Cotton…Oh boy...

Bizarre hallucinations and disturbing erotic nightmares haunt amnesiac Trevor Gooden after a car accident under mysterious circumstances leaves him hospitalised and his wife, Kirsty, missing. Now, the visions grow in number and intensity, but so do the unanswered questions. To piece the puzzle together, Detectives Lange and Givens are on the case, but they sense that something is off. After all, Gooden has been giving off mixed signals since day one. But lust, greed, and deception have already opened the gate for the Cenobites to take believers on another journey to the barren landscapes of pain. As Pinhead answers the box's call, years after Hellraiser (1987), pure evil casts the bait, and a sinister machination begins to unfold. However, what happens to those who seek hell, and darkness responds?

This film is yet another example of Dimension reusing the concept of an already made and popular film and threwing a Hellraiser covering on it. This time they used the concept from the film Jacob’s Ladder. This film was so much a copy of Jacob’s I easily predicted the ending of the film. The only good part of the film was when Kirsty confronts Pinhead and makes yet another deal with him. Quite literally that is the only good part of the film because it is a complete and utter rip off of Jacob’s Ladder.right down to this film even having a chiropractor scene, except the chiropractor turns out to be Pinhead. Of all the direct to video Hellraiser this one most annoyed me because I was excited when Kirstywas going to be in this one. I was horribly disappointed and felt like I was made a fool. This film just plain angers me. They had an opportunity to finish Kirsty’s storyline and Dimension did this insult to the fans. Be smart, either avoid like the plague or put the DVD in the microwave and destroy it. You will save yourself pain worse than Hell…

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog…