Review: Neon Maniacs (1987)

Review: Neon Maniacs (1987)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

All right we end our series of iconic films that were made in San Mateo and San Francisco Counties with a film that barely managed to get finished.

Yes, I’m talking about  that amusing monster mash Neon Maniacs.

This film has an awesome concept. It is about a bunch of cool individual monsters and killers from another reality that come to this world to hunt and slaughter. Sounds great. But unfortunately you end up with money picking asshole producers and you get this sad abused piece of cult horror. So, much potential but destroyed by the studio..

This production was riddled with issues that nearly caused the film to not be finished. First off there were originally supposed to be twenty five of the title creatures but the producers ended up having to cut the number of creatures in half due to financial issues. Also one of the maniac actors quit because the production started to cost cut and changed the contracts of the actors. The production found a replacement for the actor but because the makeup and costume department had to rework the character to fit the new actor a bunch of the members of both departments got cut to make up the money. Eventually the incompentant producers cut so much of the production budget they had to cut a lot of the origin scenes for the monsters as well as cut out a lot of the major kill scenes. In the end the film that ended up being produced bore no resemblance to the original script what the filmmaker intended. The entire origin of the Maniacs were cut down to a voice over monologue and a guy finding a bag with Maniac trading cards with the rough hint that the individual creatures came from the cards themselves, even though later thestory has something about a bus and a hinted portal. Anyway, as you can guess this film is a bit of a mess. The creatures are cool and it would have been great if someone had put out Neon Maniac action figures, with the trading cards of course. But as a film this piece of San Francisco film history has a shitload of issues.

His film is a prime example of how fucked up it is to work with producers who don’t understand film production.

Viewers are lucky they managed to get anything near to a coherent film in the end. The scenes they managed to shoot had potential but the film is so Frankensteined together it is loaded with scenes that go against others and are  full of missing info and plot holes. No good.

In many scenes you see the actors struggling with their performances.Yet somehow with everything wrong with this film it is amazingly entertaining in spite of itself. It’s  an interesting hot mess with cool monsters and in the end by some magical bit does the job. What more can I say???

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog…

Review: The Video Dead (1987)

Review: The Video Dead  (1987)

By William Pattison 

For Horror Bob's Blog 

For our second iconic horror film that was made in San Mateo and San Francisco counties is one of the most unique zombie films you will ever find…

The writer Henry Jordan receives a mysterious TV set and soon he learns that the apparatus is a gateway through which undead come to the world of the living. They kill Henry and the house is sold to another family. The teenager Zoe Blair comes to house to clean it for her parents that are traveling abroad. Her brother Jeff Blair comes later to help Zoe and finds the TV set in the basement. He brings to his room and out of the blue, the stranger Joshua Daniels knocks on the door. Joshua explains that he sent a TV set mistakenly to that address, instead of to the Department of Occult Warfare. Jeff does not believe in Joshua, but soon he leans the truth about the TV of the undead.

The zombies in The Video Dead are different from any other zombies in film. These are not exactly real zombies. They are characters brought to life and set loose our would through a cursed TV set. These zombies only kill people if they show fear. Also, like anything that comes out of the cursed TV they are afraid of mirrors because when they look into one they can see their lack of a soul. Also, únlike your usual zombie these are highly intelligent and can use tools and weapons to kill people. Also, if you lock the zombies in a room together they go nuts and eat each other.

In the film we see a couple other decisions from the TV. One is the seductrice who tries to seduce the teenaged main character. Also there is The Garbage Man who is a human who found a way inside the TV and has been spending years hunting The Video Dead in the TV world.

Unfortunately the film itself is an unfinished work. A third of the film was never finished due to the fact that the people financing the film pulled their money two thirds of the way through the production. This caused the filmmaker to have to cut out parts of the film that would have better explained certain things in the plot, like The Garbage Man and The Seductress. Still, the filmmaker managed to shoot the origin scenes, and a usable ending. But thankfully through carful editing they managed to put together a complete film, unlike the film in my next review.

All in all The Video Dead is a unique and well done cult classic low budget horror film.

If you are a zombie fan you will not want to miss these zombies…

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog…

Review: Nightmare in Blood (1977)

Review: Nightmare in Blood (1977)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

This time I’m review the first of three independent films that were produced in both San Mateo and San Francisco Counties. For the first I have a homage tand love note to tacky, cheesy horror films with this film which was directed, produced, and written by my horror host mentor, John Stanley…

Attendees at a horror-film convention in San Francisco keep disappearing. It turns out that the guest of honor is a real vampire, and his henchmen are kidnapping the convention guests. A horror writer, a Sherlock Holmes fan and an Israeli Nazi-hunter set out to stop him.

If you are a full on horror host show, cheesy classic and iconic classic horror fan this is your film. It was created with pure love by, journalist, horror host, author, movie reviewer, and all out horror and science fiction geek, John Stanley.

John, was the guy at KTVU in San Francisco and in Sacramento who was always sent on assignment to do stories on attraction and movie premieres. Because of this John was well known by theatre and attraction management, so when he decided to make his movie he had a lot of resources to work with in order to give his movie the feel he wanted on a shoestring budget. Maney of the set pieces of this movies feature places like The Fox theatre in Oakland, Pier 39, Madam Truisough’s Wax Musium, and even the studios of KTVU, most notably The Creature Features set.

A lot of The acting and characterizations in this filmare purposely pure tougue in cheek. This film is by a horror geek for horror geeks, so what do you expect.

This film is most definitely a Bay Area film with that very Bay Area feel.

Amusingly, the opening of this film is a firm example ofguarilla filmmaking, literally. John actual had the good luck of being able to film footage frown the Bay Area premiere of the original Conquest of the Planet of the Apes and caught shots of fans running around wearing ape costumes. It was an incredible bit of luck and helped establish that the film took place at a fan convention.

This film is not at all scary, but it is one that you can sit with a bunch of friends and drink a Coke Zero with popcorn with diet butter, because you have to watch the fat and sugar because you are getting old…lol…and just have a good time watching something made for you, you geek!

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog…

Beyond the Grave (2023)

Review: Beyond the Grave (2023)

By William Pattison

 For Horror Bob’s Blog

This time I’m reviewing a paranormal documentary abóut rebranding Death..

Beyond the Grave (2023)

 

An investigative journalist researches the mystery of what happens after death. She interviews several people who have had Near Death Experiences, visits a reputed haunted house, and gets a reading by a Medium.

This is an excellent documentary when it comes to the paranormal and the new theories regarding the body and mind during death. This film is full of excellent interviews with people who have had an afterlife and a haunting experience. Some of these interviews are with people I actually know and trust in the paranormal including researcher and person who died and had an out of body experience Peter Anthony. Peter tells his story of how he was rushed to the emergency with blood issuing from his mouth. He is misdiagnosed as being in the final stages of AIDS and was being left to die when Death came for him. Then the documentary goes to Arizona and the headquarters of Alsor and discusses the technology of cryonics. I found this part interesting because my former associate Shane Molher obsessed with cryonics and was actually a member of Alcor. Unfortunately when he died from diabetes the hospital costs took so much a toll on his finances he was unable to get himself cryptically suspended. Amusingly though his cat, Tuffy, was one of the feline subjects of Alcore. Finally, they also included an interview with my dear friend Andrea Peron, who experiences the events depicted in The Conjuring as well as authored the three books in the House of Darkness, House of Light series, which is the true story. She talks about her eleven years living in a haunted farmhouse.

As I stated earlier this is an excellent documentary if you are interested  in the afterlife without having to go through an entire ghost hunt.

The only thing I disagree with the documentary on is the idea that spirits cannot be dangerous. Being a person who has lived in a haunted house and had several paranormal and out of body experiences I know for a fact spirits can be dangerous and can in fact cause the living both mental and physical harm. I know this from actual experience. Same with life after death. So, from experience I agree and disagree with this documentary. I disagree with some of the critics that the film needs a bit of editing, but that is just my informed opinion.

So, all in all I consider this documentary AWESOMTACULAR!!!!

You can find this on Tubi.

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s  Blog..

Review: 100 Feet 2009)

Review:100 Feet (2008)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

This time I got my number one favorite Ghost film of the past decade, done by the film genius, and that is my informed opinion, Eric Red…

A young woman, Marnie Watson, is granted early release from her prison sentence for manslaughter (killing her husband - a violent NYC cop - in self defense) on condition she wear an electronic ankle bracelet and remain within her home, effectively under house arrest, for the remainder of her sentence. Her late husband's partner keeps tabs on her from a patrol car parked across the street, hoping she'll violate probation and he can send her back to prison. But the 100-foot radius her ankle bracelet allows isn't the worst of her problems.

Now, to start out with, if you want to be completely blown away you need to track down and buy a copy of the Hollywood Video Exclusive Unrated version of this film because the mere two and a half minute of additional footage elevates this film to genius level. You jaw will literally drop and you will be stunned. It is the definition of brutal perfection. It makes Negan’s murderous introduction in The Walking Dead look cute and cuddly by comparison. I kid you not.

So, this is filmmaker, Eric Red’s violent and claustrophobic masterpiece about a woman, played brilliantly by Fanke Jameson, who is trapped in her brownstone where a year before she freaked out and cut the head off her abusive cop husband. She is trapped because she is tethered to the house by an electronic bracelette around her ankle that only allows her to go one hundred feet in any direction or an alarm goes off and she is only allowed one minute to get back into the one hundred toot zone or the police will come and take her to prison. But she is unaware that she is not alone. The vengeful spirit of her husband is also tethered to the brownstone and is going to use her for his personal punching bag.

Also, added into the mix is her husband’s partner who thinks the wife didn’t kill her husband but is being bullied into silence by the “real” killer. As well is a young delivery man who falls for her … but you have to watch the unrated version to truly appreciate his fate.

Eddie and the Cruisers star Michael Pare plays the spirit of the dead husband, but you would not recognize him with the freaky ghost FX that Eric Red Co seals him underneath. You actually only get to get a clear look at him at the very end of the film.

But, when it comes down to it this is Famke’s film and she is literally put through hell throughout this nightmare of a film.

Years ago I had Eric Red on my Podcast, An Awakening of Horror and we spent over two and a half hours discussing this film. Eric praised it as the best interview of his career.

But, I’m not mentioning the interview just to pat myself on the back, though I deserve it. It is because Eric talked about how he manipulated Fanke to get the incredible performance out of her. He literally made her hate Michael Pare and at the end of the shoot she even ended up punching him in the face to get rid of the anger and stress she was under, though for all I know this might be an amusing fiction on Eric’s part. For me, I can believe it.

But once again I heartily suggest you see the uncut version because you

Literally get to see a human being broken into a bag of mush wíth all the yummysnapping and crushing sounds and closeups of limps and

 ribs breaking…spoilers !!!... Now that is a party!!!

 Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog… GO NOW!!!

Review: Last Shift (2014)

Review:Last Shift (2014)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog..

This time I got a remake of a 1990 film that started the horror subgenre that inspired The Innkeepers.

A Manson-inspired horror film centering around a transitioning police station. Officer Jessica Loren has been assigned to wait for a Hazmat team to pick up bio-hazardous waste from the station's armory. But unbeknownst to Jessica, cult Leader John Michael Paymon has haunted the department ever since he and two of this followers committed suicide a year ago to date. And now, Jessica is about to find out how dangerous they can be when she's left alone on this Last Shift.

 The Last Shift subgenre of horror started actually with the infamous grind house film, Day of the Woman, aka I Spit on Your Grave  In this film a woman must survive against a gang of psychopaths. In 1990 this idea was taken into the ghost genre of horror with the release of the first of many The Last Shift films, which have a woman having to survive being stuck either haunted business or government office location that has had a bloody past… pretty munch The Shining meets I Spit on Your Grave. So far, from what I can tell there have been six The Last Shift themed horror films that include the remake of the first The Last Shift, which I’m  now reviewing as well as The Innkeepers, which I’ve  already reviewed. All these films either have a revenge subplot or a satanic one. They all have ghosts that torture and either drive the female lead insane and eventually lead them to their death and their souls being trapped in the location.

These films are heavy in jump scares and psychological horror. The ghosts start out as looking human and are usually looking for the person to help or theyprovide the person with their stories. But once the story is told they turn malevolent. In the case of this film, Last Shift, as with the original the filmmakers connected the story to a Manson-like cult that swore vengeance on the main character’s family and it is because the lead character who decided to become a police officer, like her father, that puts her into this paranormal powderkeg. This is much like the main character in The Innkeepers with her obsession with paranormal investigation.

Even though a lot of reviewers try to say the acting of the lead actresses of these films are bad, I have to disagree. It is in the end that the performances of these actresses that support the entire production, not just the freaky ghost makeup. Without these actresses going heavy on emotions and making the audience feel the feelings and stress these films wouldn’t work as well as they do. It takes a special actress to go through the amazing about of stress these roles can put an actress through. It is far less as easy as they make it look. In fact I’ve  heard stories that some of these actresses have had to have therapy after finishing one of these films.

So, with all this said, I have to say that the remake of The Last Shift is REMAKETACULAR!!!

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog…

Review: Jacob's Wife (2021)

Review:Jacob’s Wife (2021)

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

This time I got a feminist vampire movie staring Barbara Crampton…

 

Anne, married to a small-town Minister, feels her life has been shrinking over the past 30 years. Encountering "The Master" brings her a new sense of power and an appetite to live bolder. However, the change comes with a heavy body count.

Now let me start out by saying this review is an update of the original review I did on the original Horror Bob’s Blog on Overblog five years ago, and five years is not that long amount of time for a movie. Unfortunately, this film is not aging at all well, I was actually nice when I originally reviewed this film all those years ago, but years of social justice and “THE MESSAGE” has made me less then sentimental. All the annoying blemishes in this film are now blazingly clear.

This film, which was basically a feninistist Fright Night ripoff has now become far less entertaining and more like nails on a chalkboard. The supposed humor is not at all funny and the big bad in the film, “The Master” is not at all scary and is just a vehicle to lecture in your face about the slavery of women by men…Seriously people! This film makes the remake of Fright Night look fantastic and preferable…and I HATE the Fright Night remake with a passion. This film makes me feel sorry for Barbara Crampton for having to be associated to this turd. The poor woman had to work overtime to hold this production together.

So, unless you have pink, blue, or green hair and haven’t shaved your legs since 2020 you will not enjoy this film. This film is like a teenager who had nasty skin issues…it is full of unattractive pock marks…

So, here is a question…How do you end an update review of an in your face feminist vampire film?  You get in your face…

So it is now time for me to get in YOUR faces. I stopped giving sugar coated reviews years ago after dealing with the crap The Soskas were putting out and reading other review sites saying “This is one of the best films to come out in the last five years. It is not a perfect film but still it is genius…” GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!! It’s  like calling a turd in a punch bowl a Baby Ruth!!! If it is a turd it is a turd. A genius film by calling it such means it is a perfect film. To call an imperfect film genius is to show that you are a complete fucking idiot.A genius film is a film that is perfect and cannot be improved because it is perfect Already. Point made. In your face rant over. Remember that Rue Morgue and Dread Central… Stop shooting yourselves in the foot. You people are getting paid by the fans…I’m  not.

Keep on Creepin’ , Horror Bob’s Blog…