Review: Castle Freak 2020
By William Pattison
For Horror Bob’s Blog
Ok, people, this time I’m going to be reviewing the
“reimagining” of the Stuart Gordon classic horror film, Castle Freak by
filmmaker Tate Steinsiek and screenwriter Kathy Charles through Fangoria
Films. You’ll see the significance of this later in the review…
This reimagined version of Castle Freak tells the story of
Rebecca Whateley and her dysfunctional boyfriend John. At the beginning of the
film, we see how John because he is a nasty male cause an accident that takes
Rebecca’s vision. Then the story jumps to a time later and we see Rebecca and
John in a car driving in the Albanian countryside. It seems that Rebecca’s
absentee mother has died and left Rebecca a castle. Of course, she also left her
a little bonus that is creeping around in the walls, the Castle Freak. Now,
Rebecca, John, and a bunch of her friends that we meet at the beginning of the
film must solve Rebecca’s family mystery before her hidden guest rips its way
through her friends to get to her.
Now, people, I have to say I have a love/hate relationship
with remakes / “reimaginings”. Some have surprised me, some have made me want
to punch the wall and scream with rage. Guess which this is?
Seriously, other than for a chance for Charles Band to sell
off the right to his fan favorites to get financing to make a few more Full
Moon films, much like Lloyd Kauffman did with Toxic Avenger, there is no reason
to remake Castle Freak. Stuart Gordon’s original still stands the test of time
and is still one of the three films he has done I consider a classic.
But, of course, in this world of SJWs and toxic feminism, no
classic is safe, especially if it has anything to do with H.P. Lovecraft. If
you don’t know, reader, the original Castle Freak was inspired by the H.P.
Lovecraft short story The Outsider (not to be mistaken for the Stephen King
novel of the same name.) Though in fact Stuart Gordon didn’t really add any
Lovecraftian references in his film. Unfortunately, in this “reimagined”
version Kathy Charles has jammed this film with references to Lovecraft that
the main storyline is drowned and neutered. This film is so badly written that
suddenly cultists who worship The Elder Gods show up out of the ether. And of
course, they had to change the sex of the Castle Freak and change it’s back
story completely because a tortured Frankenstein-like character that the
audience can pity is just stupid. Right Kathy Charles? Nope, let it be the
vanguard of the coming of The Ancient Ones. Shit, why not even bring in a cameo
of Herbert West (spoiler) to make this turd complete.
Honestly, people, Stuart Gordon is rolling in his grave and
it is thanks to that hive of SJW and feminist bias Fangoria. These assholes
greenlit this crapfest. I could see Rebekah McKendry pushing the heads of
Fangoria to back this. It has the McKendry shit stain on it. I still can’t
believe they rehired her after she and Christopher Alexander killed Fangoria
before. Are these idiots or not!
Anyway, in conclusion, don’t waste your time with this
filth. Grab your copy of Castle Freak or find it streaming and watch the Stuart
Gordon masterpiece, the one, and only Castle Freak.
Keep on Creepin’, Horror Bob’s Blog
