Saturday, December 12, 2015

Review: John Johnson's The Jester



Review: John Johnson's The Jester

By William Pattison
For Horror Bob’s Blog


This time I have the pleasure of reviewing a film by one of my favorite indie filmmakers, that being Mr. John Johnson. The film in question is John Johnson’s The Jester.
            There is a legend about a jester who fell in love with the daughter of a king and impregnated her. The King in his rage had the Jester tied to a tree and forced him to watch as he cut the child from his daughter’s stomach. Then the king burned down the forest to destroy the jester, baby, and his daughter’s body. While the Jester burned he cursed the king and the world saying that he would come back and claim a child to replace that which the king took from him, then the world would suffer his wrath.
            Centuries later a young female author finds a necklace and a book in an old book shop. She buys the book and after she starts to read from it the Jester appears to her. He tells her he has come to get what she owes him, a child, and if she rejects him three times blood will be spilt. She refuses him and he reminds her that if she does it two more times blood will be spilt. Then he wipes her memory.
            Soon after a bunch of her friends come to spend the weekend with her. The jester comes to her again and she rejects him two more times. The Jester tells her that she has made a grave mistake. From that point on blood is indeed spilt and the young author must choose either to concede to the demonic Jester’s request or watch her friends die one by one.
            The Jester is a low budget horror film done in the classic style of the 80s. Unlike most films that try to capture the feel of the 80s gorefests, Johnson manages this feat with ease yet does not turn this film into a cookie cutter 80s horror homage. This is not a homage it is an after affect of the fact that like those 80s filmmakers before him Johnson uses his limited resources to their full advantage and effect rather than trying to pretend he is making a Hollywood film. The result is good honest filmmaking that takes practical FX and character work, and tight script writing and uses these to create a quality piece of work. Jester reminds me of some of the great classic low budget horror films created by the master filmmakers of Empire Pictures and Full Moon. It is an entertaining horror film that doesn’t take itself too serious yet gives the horror fan the bang for their bucks. I highly recommend this film. You can find this and other wonderful films by John Johnson at http://www.darkstone-ent.com/films.html

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Saturday, September 19, 2015

Review: Model Hunger


Review: Model Hunger
By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse
For Horror Bob's Blog


Well, this time I get to review the first directorial by my dear friend and the queen of all scream queens, Debbie Rochon. The film is titled Model Hunger and it is a quirky horror film that takes on the subject of the prejudice in the modeling and entertainment industry in general about female age and body size.
Model Hunger tells the story of Ginny (played to perfection by veteran actress Lynn Lowry), an elderly former model and actress who was cast aside as a young woman due to her body type. Ginny is now a broken woman who has over the years garnered a hatred and need for revenge on the thin young women who cost her her career. So, now when she encounters young pretty women she lures them into her house, kills them, and eats them. Now, come on the scene Ginny’s new neighbor Debbie (played by scream queen Tiffany Shepis). Debbie is a disturbed woman who starts to wonder about her neighbor’s activities. Debbie’s husband Sal, disregards her suspicions and ends up losing his life over it when Ginny sends over a little drugged treat for Debbie and Sal ends up eating it. After that things build to a final confrontation that pits Ginny and Debbie in a life and death battle.
I have to say this film sold me. It takes place in a twisted world that only a former Tromet could come up with. Mainly the stage of this twisted morality play takes place in three houses, Ginny’s, Debbie’s, and the neighbor on the other side of Ginny who is basically an old man with two hobbies, collecting windmills and peeping on the neighborhood. Then the film goes that much further for psychological affect by going into both women’s minds through voiceovers and creepy flashbacks.
But Rochon isn’t done there. After all she mentored with the great Lloyd Kauffman. Rochon hits the viewer with a blatant display of what the moral push of this story is through the vehicle of an infomercial show that plays through the story called Suzie’s Secret. Suzie’s Secret is a show hosted by Suzie (played in a fat suite by actress Suzi Lorraine) for “regular sized” women in order to sell them sexy clothes to make them feel empowered. The main clothes model in this freak show is none other than drag actor and Troma alumni Babette Bombshell. Babette thrills and shocks the viewer by modeling skanky outfits while rubbing food over his/her body. Scary indeed.
And, don’t worry, gore hounds, Debbie Rochon doesn’t forget you either. This film features some wonderful gore scenes as Ginny takes out cheerleaders, an aspiring actress, a mechanic, and even a Jehovah’s witness (because after all we can’t let those skinny Jehovah’s witness girls get away). And the best thing of all is not one CGI gore scene in the lot. Debbie Rochon goes for the best, and that is what has always worked, practical FX.
The last few years we’ve seen a lot of scream queens try the director’s chair. For the most part their efforts have been lack luster, and in many cases down right embarrassing. Not so in this case. I look forward to Debbie Rochon’s next directoral…
So, if you love twisted, gory, psychological, horror that is done with the love and respect of the craft, Model Hunger is the film for you.
Currently, this film is doing the film festival run, but it should be coming to DVD and Blueray sometime in 2016. I highly recommend you check it out if you get the chance. This will be one you will want to add to your collection in the future.

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Monday, June 22, 2015

Review: Vendetta (2015)



By William Pattison, Aka Eric Morse
For Horror Bob's Blog

Well, the time has come yet again for me to do a review on a film by the Twisted Twins Jen and Sylvia Soska. This time the girls have thankfully left the horror genre behind them and have moved on to the action drama genre with their second film for WWE films, Vendetta.
Vendetta stars Dean Cane (Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) as Detective Mason Danvers. Mason captures tough gangster Victor Abbot (played by WWE wrestler Paul “The Big Show” Wight) but when Abbot and his brother are released on a technicality, Abbot viciously tortures and kills Detective Danvers’ pregnant wife. Abbot is caught before Danvers, who arrived just after Abbot killed his wife gets a chance to get revenge and shoot him.
So Danvers goes and kills Abbot’s brother and a couple other drug dealers and gets himself arrested. Danvers is sent to the same prison as Abbot and put in general population. At this point the film becomes a series of fight scenes as Abbot (who somehow now runs the prison) sends convicts to kill Danvers and Danvers one by one takes out Abbots lieutenants as he works his way up to killing Abbot.
Unfortunately, I had a bunch of issues with this film. The script that was written by Justin Shady is full of blatant technical errors and plot glitches that should make any real prison film fan scratch their head. A couple of the most obvious would be the main plot point of Danvers being sent to the same prison as the man who tortured and murdered his wife.  No judicial agency is going to do something as idiotic as this, and don’t tell me that was the only prison he could be sent to. Another script flaw was the fact that Danvers was put in general population. There is no way that any prison would put a former cop in general population. That would be a death sentence because every convict in the place would be gunning for him. I can back this up because I did my homework and conferred with a friend of mine named Matt who is in fact a prison guard at a prison that is the same size as in the film. Matt and I discerned a number of outrageous errors in this film. Another was the fact that the warden assigned Danvers a just at the prison laundry, not a risk they would do with a former cop. Also, when Danvers is working in the laundry there is not a guard in sight which actually leads to a group of six prisoners nearly beating Danvers to death. Also, coincidentally, it turns out one of the guards is an old friend of Danvers and right out in the exercise area in front of the prisoners chews the shit with Danvers and tells him that the warden is working with Abbot. Right, like any intelligent guard would be stupid enough to tell that out loud with the other prisoners watching and listening. Also, to show the bad writing the guard survives till the end of the film. Excuse? Oh, and there is the amusing prison policy (which is unique to this prison) that prisoners can leave the exercise area and go back to their cells unescorted or watched by guards. This is obvious because one of Abbot’s men goes back to his cell only to be killed by Danvers who was waiting for him there. Seriously, both Justin Shady and this production in general drastically needed a technical advisor.
Another annoying thing about this film was the fight scenes. Not because they weren’t bloody enough. Oh no, Jen and Sylvia learned from the kick in their teeth they got from both reviewers and fans in regard to See No Evil 2 and threw the blood around. The problem was the fight scenes look way overly staged. You could actually see that the punches didn’t impact. Also in a number of shots the bad guys would fall the wrong way. Shoot, the one fight scene that wins my prize for most lame is one where Danvers uses a push broom to choke one of Abbots men. Now, hold back your laughter…Danvers uses the brush end and presses it down on the guy’s throat. The guy flays his arms and over acts the gagging. Then, after an unbelievable amount of time, Danvers switches to using the handle. Oh, my flippin’ god. The only good kill in this film except the killing of Danvers wife, and that could have been shot better, was a killing where Danvers uses a plastic pen that he fashions into a knife and stabs one of Abbot’s men to death. In that scene Danvers gets a stream of blood in his face from the shaft of the pen which is sticking out of the guy’s neck. Come on girls!
As for the camera work and lighting, I did like some of the colored lighting in the early parts of the film, but through the second half it seemed standard and uninspired. I’m sorry to say the camera work seemed rather uninspired too. I’ve seen forth year film students that set better angles than I saw in this film. The only scene where I can honesty say the girls did it right was in the warehouse scene where Danvers initially captures Abbot. In that one scene the Soskas managed to use the angles and lighting in a dramatic way.
When I saw the trailer for this film I was ready to applaud Jen and Sylvia Soska. Thankfully they had moved on from horror, which I can not under express that they could not do. I remembered how well they did the action scenes in Dead Hooker in a Trunk and looked forward to seeing a little of that early Soska magic on the screen. Unfortunately, all I saw when I saw Vendetta was a disappointing mess. I honestly felt sorry for the girls. There was so much of this they had no control over due to the fact that they are stuck working for a control freak like Vince McMahon. I’m pretty sure Vince just gave them the script and said shoot it. I even think most of the cast was already hired before they were even assigned. Hell, like all WWE directors, the Soskas didn’t even get the chance to even edit the damned film, which itself was sloppy and uninspired.
Given all this, all I can suggest is on their next film the Soskas put some budget to getting an on set advisor. The faults and idiot mistakes in this film are like nails on a chalkboard. It was the same with See No Evil 2 with people working in a coroner’s office and doing autopsies in plain clothes rather than in scrubs…Oh and the blue embalming fluid instead of yellow to name just a couple of things. My friend that works as a mortician nearly gagged on his popcorn while he watching it.
So, I can only in good judgment give this film two and a half stars. Do your homework next time, ladies….
Keep on Creepin’, Horror Bob’s Blog!!!

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Review: It Follows



By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse
For Horror Bob's Blog

Hey, Howlies. I just finished watching It Follows and I have to say I was impressed. The film tells the story of a girl named Jay who what seemed like an innocent encounter with a boy on a date; that is until the boy knocks her out and ties her to a chair. He informs her that he has passed onto to her a thing…no not a sexually transmitted disease, but some type of demon that slowly walks toward its victims and kills them in a horrible way. This demon can present itself a family, friends, or pretty much anybody. The only way to get rid of this thing, at least for a while until it kills again is to have sex with somebody and pass the demon on to them. Jay at one point in the film passes it on to her friend Glen, who looks amusingly like a young Johnny Depp. But only partially believes her and the demon gets to him. So, now Jay and her remaining friends must find a way to put an end to the demon before it kills Jay.
I absolutely loved It Follows. This film reminded me of the good old scarefests I used to watch in the 80’s…I mean the real 80s horror films, not the idealized dribble this generation thinks an 8os style horror film is supposed to be. This film had everything in the right proportions. It had tension, well drawn characters (not regurgitated Breakfast Club characters), and honest scares rather that puddles and blood and gore and endless jump scares. Even the music in this film, which is mostly done with a synthesizer has that wonderful 80s feel to it that is so missed these days. I have to say bravo to director/writer David Robert Mitchell. He knows how to do some honest horror and hopefully he continues to deliver this quality of work. He has the potential to be the next Wes Craven. I whole heartedly recommend this film to any true horror fans.
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Saturday, May 2, 2015

Review: Strange Blood




By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse
For Horror Bob’s Blog

I just finished watching an excellent independent horror/science fiction film titled Strange Blood. This film is about an obsessed scientist that is trying to find a cure for all disease. In his attempt to do that he accidentally becomes a vampire. This is a royally freaky film and the biological incubator he creates is something to be seen. This is a very Cronenbergue take on the vampire and I highly recommend it.


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Review: Chasing Ghosts


By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse
For Horror Bob's Blog


I just finished watching a wonderful film titled Chasing Ghosts. No it is not a horror movie or a paranormal drama. It tells the story of a young boy who is grieving over the death of his older brother. He is obsessed with death and as a hobby films funerals and posts them on YouTube. During one of his filming sessions he sees a misty figure behind the widow. Not really thinking about it he posts it and moves on. The next day he finds he has had thousands of YouTube hits. He becomes an unlikely celebrity. His father thinks of this as a way to make money. Then the kid meets a man who had died and had been brought back and an incredible friendship is started.
This is a wonderful film and explores the subjects of life, death, grief, and moving on. It is a film I highly recommend to people who are tired of the para-dramas and scary CGI monster ghost stories…

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Thursday, April 23, 2015

Review: Forgotten Tales




Review: Forgotten Tales
By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse 
For Horror Bob's Blog

I just finished watching Reyna Young’s new film Forgotten Tales.
I have to say I was very impressed. Reyna has constructed an anthology film in the vein of Creepshow. I loved the fact that all the stories in this film were inter-connected. I also like the fact that Reyna made these character centered stories rather than gore centered. Don’t get me wrong, there is enough violence and mayhem to satisfy any horror fan. The thing I like was that Reyna, rather than going heavily for blood and innards, went more for story and playing with the viewers psyche with camera and startle techniques. Most lower budget horror films don’t do this. They shove a bunch of gore down the viewer’s throats and give them very little else. This film I highly recommend and I give 8 out of  10 howls…..

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