Review: Ichi

Review: Ichi
By William Pattison
For Horror Bob's Blog

I just finished watching a wonderful samurai film from 2008 titled Ichi. It is a spin off of the incredible samurai series Blind Swordsman Zatoichi.
This film tells the story of Zatoichi's daughter whose name is Ichi. She is also blind. When she was a child Zatoichi left her in a home where they taught her to be a singer. Zatoichi visits on occasion and teaches the girl how to use a sword. When she grows up the head of the house rapes her and she kills him. She is thrown out of the house and travels the countryside of Japan looking for her father. It is during her journey that she runs into a samurai that has a tramatic condition where he can't pull his sword to fight. It is because of this that Ichi ends up getting in the middle of a conflict between a village and a group of bandits. I guess it runs in the family.
As a long time fan of the Zatoichi I royally enjoyed this film and highly recommend it....
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Review: Land of Smiles, aka Thai-Sanity

Review: Land of Smiles, aka Thai-Sanity

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

For my review this time a have a new film by Australian director Bradley Stryker, Land of Smiles.

The film centers on a girl named Abby (played by Alexandra Turshen). Abby has just gotten out of college and is ready to start her life. Her best friend, Jen (played by Jen L. Burry), wants to take Abby on vacation to purge her inhibitions, since Abby is a bit of the good girl type. Abby tells Jen she doesn’t want to go. This starts an argument. Abby tells Jen it has nothing to do with Abby’s boyfriend Brad. Jen walks off in a huff. Abby ends up going home to find Brad having sex with another girl. Abby shoots them both in the face with pepper spray. Then we see Abby on a plane alone to Thailand, not a good idea. Once she gets to Thailand Abby meets documentary filmmaker Ben (played by Keenan Henson) and his girl Jewel (played by Caitlin Cromwell, aka Caitlin Stryker). The threesome decide to travel around Thailand together because Ben has been all over the island and knows the best places. Then they add an Australian, Dale (played by Bradley Stryker) and Penny (played by Krista Donargo) It is around this time that Abby receives a video that is handed to her by a stranger. The video shows her friend Jen tied up and painted up in clown makeup. There is a man with her in a yellow jumpsuit and a disturbing clown mask. The man tells Abby that if she doesn’t play his game and do as he says that he will cut Jen to pieces with an electric saw. He tells Abby not to tell Ben or Jewel as well. Abby immediately goes to Ben and Jewel and shows them the video. Ben tells her not to worry because he figures it is Jen pulling a trick on Abby to help get her out of her shell. He backs this up by showing her a couple of videos of people pulling a similar trick. Abby doesn’t believe him and wants to get the police involved. Ben reminds Abby that the Thailand police are corrupt will only help if they are paid enough. He suggest she just go along with the game and that he is sure it’s all a big joke. The next day Abby is given another not from the clown masked man. He tells her that now that she has told Ben and Jewel they must play the game too and if any of them fail to go by the rules Jen will suffer. They decide not to tell Dale or Penny what’s going on, since they don’t want them involved. It is a little bit later that they find out this is all no joke when they find Penny, painted up in clown makeup, murdered in a motel covered in sheets with clown scrawl over them with blinking green, red, and blue Christmas lights as well. It is also soon after that they receive a finger in a package and a pendent Abby gave Jen. Now the game has become serious and the tension builds to the twist at the end.

I have to say that this is a very well done psychological horror film that also exploits the setting very well. You have an American tourist in a strange country where she can’t even count on the police for help. Bradley counters the incredible beauty if Thailand with it’s darker underbelly.

The actors give excellent performance, especially Alexandra Turshen and Keenan Henson as Ben. Bradley Stryker adds a lot to the film as Dale as well.

Of course, now we got the downside of the film. I honestly did not think the clown motif worked well with the setting. I know clowns have been the big thing the last few years with the clown sightings and attacks all over the globe. Also I understand that clown masks are the easiest thing to find, but I just don’t see clowns and Thailand as a good match. It all looked cheap to me and thrown in. The backgrounds in the videos of the clown who was supposedly keeping Jen in a secret place in Thailand didn’t match up with the rest of the film. Also, the big twist and reveal could have been done far better. I was less than impressed with the execution and it brought down a really good build up. Though I doubt Bradley Stryker is going to read this review, I hope he does a better job ending his next film.

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Commentary: What is in a Moniker?

Commentary: What is in a Moniker?

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob's Blog

Ok, here is something I’ve wanted to get off my chest. It seems that a minority of people in horror have an issue with me using the moniker King of Splatter Punk. Well, whiney bitches here is what I have to say on this….too bad. A guy I knew years ago started calling me that. I was reluctant to take on the moniker, at the time because I was calling myself The Harlan Ellison of Friday the 13^th, which I still do on occasion. Of course, I also call myself The Alpha Wolf of The Wolf Pack and Shogun of The Wolf Pack.

The point I’m getting at is monikers are meaningless. They are just cute little names people, especially in entertainment use with a tongue in cheek. Look around you people. How many tattooed girls with website that have been extras in films, or if she is lucky had a short speaking part, call themselves Scream Queens or Queen of Horror. How many Kings of Horror are there out there. My buddy Al Omega calls himself the Alpha and Omega of Horror. More power to him.

A few people say I can’t call myself on my shows The King of Splatter Punk because. David J Schow and some of his friends invented the sub-genre of Splatter Punk. I say if David wants to fly banners calling himself King of Splatter Punk more power to him too, but I really don’t think he cares. David is more interested in doing the work of writing and getting the pay than giving himself gray hair over a mere moniker. Nope, it is just a few narrow minded, petty, nitpicky jackasses out there that make a mountain out of a mole hill and waste their time writing page after page on how I can’t call myself The King of Splatter Punk. Sorry, this is William Pattison, King of Splatter Punk, The Harlan Ellison of Friday the 13th, Defender of Horror, Alpha Wolf of The Wolf Pack, and Shogun of The Wolf Pack saying get a life….

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Review: The Void

Review: The Void

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob's Blog

Man, I just finished watching The Void. I have to say I'm stunned. This is a beautifully ghastly horror film. It is Clive Barker meets H.P. Lovecraft. Excellent writing. Good character work. Great atmosphere. Tense as shit. This is the best horror film I've seen in years. This is my choice for best of the year. I doubt I'll find a film that will surpass this film. This film royally raised the bar on horror. You, got to see this. This is a grotesque masterpiece.....

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Review: Stake Land II

Review: Stake Land II

By William Pattison

For Horror Bob’s Blog

Well, I just finished watching Stake Land II. I have to say as much as I loved the first film I love this one better. In this film Martin (played again by Conner Paolo) and Mister (Nick Damici, who is also the writer of the film) are reunited when Martin's family is murdered by a female vampire with one eye. Martin finds out from Mister that this vampire is actually after him. It seems that this vampire is a new breed that can have babies and Mister had killed her baby and took her eye. Now Martin, Mister, a feral girl Mister befriended along with some vampire hunter friends of Mister must take on an army of vampires and the crazy cult the brotherhood from the first film, who are working with the vampires.

This is a great zombie apocalypse style film done with vampires instead of zombies. I highly recommend it.

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Review: XX

Review: XX

By William Pattison, aka Eric Morse

For Horror Bob’s Blog

Gore and scares! For my review this time I have the new anthology XX. This anthology was done by four female filmmakers: Jovanka Vuckovic, Roxanne Benjamin, St. Vincent aka Annie Clark, and Karyn Kusama. The film is made up of four terror tales connected by a weird animated wrap a round featuring an odd doll house with a doll’s face.

The first story is an adaptation by Jovanka Vuckovic of the overly treaded Jack Ketchum short story The Box. Honestly when I saw that they were doing The Box in this anthology I figured this segment was going to be the weakest of the stories given the fact that The Box has had three previous short film adaptation as well as a feature film. For those who somehow missed this story, in Ketchum’s original story a man with a messed up side of his face goes to a couple who is having financial problems and offers them the chance to get a million dollars. The only catch is they have to push a button inside a black box which will kill a random person. They only have a week to decide. Well, Vuckovic does a total re-writing of the tale. She still has the mysterious man and the box, but this time the box is red and has a big red bow on it. Vuckovic’s version starts on a train with a mother and two kids. A mystery man with a messed up eye is sitting nearby them holding the box. The mother’s son asks the man what is in the box. The man opens the box and shows him. From that moment on the boy refuses to eat. His father in one scene gets so frustrated he starts yelling at the boy who breaks down in tears but refuses to eat. Eventually the boy tells his sister what he saw and she refuses to eat as well. Then at the end the boy tells his father and he stops eating. You can gather the end of the story. Jovanka Vuckovic is brilliant in how she handles this story. Seriously, the way she films the food in the scene makes you hungry. It looks so appealing yet the boy and later his sister turns their noses up to it. This adaptation is psychological horror at its best and is in fact the strongest of the tales in this anthology.

The second story is by filmmakers Roxanne Benjamin and St. Vincent aka Annie Clark. It is titled The Birthday Party. It tells the tale of a mother who is having a costume party/ birthday party for her adopted daughter. Unfortunately, she finds the girl’s father dead in his den. Now the mother finds herself trying to hide the body from her daughter and the arriving party guests. She ends up disguising the body in a panda costume and sits it at the party table. Of course fate hits in a predictable ending.

I have to say this was the weakest story of the anthology and suffered from an annoying habit that some female filmmakers have. That is they fall so much in love with style and costuming that they forget the story and focus solely on visual elements. This is an issue I have with the Soskas as well. For instance the mother spends the entire story in a dark green nightgown with a mauve silk bathrobe. The daughter is wearing a supposed handmade ghost costume. The distracting thing is it is made out of a white overly shiny vinyl material. Then the other kids costumes look like nothing a modern kid would ever, and I mean ever, wear unless they were forced to. It looks like a twisted school play. Then of course the parents costuming and hair styles were horridly off. I doubt that any man, even a gay guy, would wear an orange tennis shirt with a atomic yellow sweater and puke green colored pants. With all these distracting costume elements it royally takes away from the focus of the story, which is the mother and her husband’s body.

The third story is a definite improvement over the last installment. I was directed by Roxanne Benjamin and is titled Don’t Fall. It tells the story of a group of vacationers who set up camp in an area they are not supposed to be near a ancient cave painting. The cave painting shows a group of figures. The figure in the middle is bigger than the others and appears to have horns. The group does some rock climbing, have a campout, and settle in their RV for a good night’s sleep. Well, that is when the fun begins….One of the girls wakes up in the middle of the night. She somehow had been moved up the rock face and was laying beneath the cave painting. She ends up being possessed by the evil entity that lives in the rock. Now the vacationers must try to escape their friend who has turned into a monster set to rip all of them to pieces.

I loved this story. It was a no nonsense monster story that was gritty and nasty in the tradition of The Evil Dead. The possessed girl-creature was awesome and all the FX were gory practical effects. I have nothing but praise for this installment.

The final story is titled Her only Living Son. It was directed by Karyn Kusama and tells the story of Cora, who has a special son named Andy who she spends her days protecting. Cora has had to move constantly to protect her son because some “crazy people,” as she calls them, want to take Andy and use him for their own purposes. Well, Andy’s eighteenth birthday is coming up and Cora worries that he might have to make a frightening decision.

I really enjoyed this installment. Both the actress that played Cora and Andy both did fantastic performances. In fact all the performances are top drawer. There is a scene where Cora in having a conference with the dean of Andy’s school. Supposedly Andy had pulled a fellow student’s finger nails off. Surprisingly, the dean tells Cora that she isn’t going to discipline Andy because he is a special boy and needs to be encouraged. The look on Cora’s face speaks volumes. The most frightening scene is towards the end of the story after Andy tells Cora that a strange woman told him his real father was coming to get him. He orders his mother to kneel before him and while she pleads about how she has done everything to protect him Andy strokes her hair with his hand which has changed and has long sharp finger nails. The best part of this story is when Andy’s father finally arrives the camera doesn’t show him but focuses solely on Andy and his mother. Also, though the end is bloody it is done well and fits the feel of the story rather than being overly grizzly.

So, in conclusion, I have to say that XX is a really good anthology film. If I was to give it a number rating I would give it a 3.5 out of 5. The reason I would not give it a full 4.0 is because I felt the cryptic wrap a round took away from the film. Also, as I said, I wasn’t very pleased with the second story. But, I will say that this anthology surprised me and is one I will recommend….

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William Pattison’s Top 20 Best Horror Films of 2016

William Pattison’s Top 20 Best Horror Films of 2016

Gore and Scares Everybody! It’s me, William Pattison. Well, 2017 is here and so is horror awards season. Yep, all the horror magazines and film festivals will be naming their favorite horror films from 2016 via Top Lists or full on awards ceremonies. So I thought what the hell. I’ve watched around 200 horror films this last year, more or less (Probably more than most of the people who are judging this year…). So, why shouldn’t I name my Top twenty films I thought were superior for 2016?

It was hard but after a lot of painful cutting and trimming I managed to knock my list down to twenty.  It really was hard work because there were a lot of excellent horror films that came out in 2016. So here are my choices…..

20. She-wolf Rising

A nonstop supernatural thriller that explores the dark side of underground filmmaking. Gina Sklar, the reigning queen of horror, portrayed by Tiffany Shepis, lures Jake Bubar (Tim Mandala) into the decadent world of illusions and myths. Robert Lonzo (J. Edmund Fond) is Gina's mentor and producer in the world of horror cinema. Someone has stolen the footage from his latest movie and Gina needs Jake's help to recover it. It's Lonzo's best movie ever and Gina's breakout performance. Gina believes that this movie could catapult her out of the "B" world of films and into mainstream cinema. Jake struggles with his own demons internally but in the end cannot resist her. He only sees her vulnerability and beauty and will do anything to help. Jake's beliefs are challenged when he discovers Gina's true nature and realizes that the "the heart becomes savage." Together they forge ahead and deal with the demons and beasts that try to stop them from their forbidden desire.

Director:

 Marc Leland

Writer:

 Marc Leland

Stars:

 Tiffany Shepis, Debbie Rochon, Timothy Mandala

19. HOWL

When passengers on a train are attacked by a creature, they must band together in order to survive until morning.

Director:

 Paul Hyett

Writers:

 Mark Huckerby, Nick Ostler

Stars:

 Ed Speleers, Holly Weston, Shauna Macdonald

18. The Veil

Twenty-five years after members of a religious cult committed mass suicide, the lone survivor returns to the scene of the tragedy with a documentary crew in tow.

Director:

 Phil Joanou

Writer:

 Robert Ben Garant (screenplay)

Stars:

 Jessica Alba, Lily Rabe, Thomas Jane

17. Baskin

A squad of unsuspecting cops goes through a trapdoor to Hell when they stumble upon a Black Mass in an abandoned building.

Director:

 Can Evrenol

Writers:

Ogulcan Eren Akay, Can Evrenol, Cem Ozuduru, Ercin Sadikoglu 

Stars:

 Mehmet Cerrahoglu, Görkem Kasal, Ergun Kuyucu

16. Clown

A loving father finds a clown suit for his son's birthday party, only to realize that it is not a suit at all.

Director:

 Jon Watts

Writers:

 Christopher Ford (screenplay) (as Christopher D. Ford), Jon Watts (screenplay)

Stars:

 Andy Powers, Laura Allen, Peter Stormare

15. Siren

A bachelor party becomes a savage fight for survival when the groomsmen unwittingly unleash a fabled predator upon the festivities.

Director:

 Gregg Bishop

Writers:

 David Bruckner (based on characters created by), David Bruckner (original screenplay: Amateur Nightt), Ben Collins, Luke Piotrowski, Nicholas Tecosky (based on characters created by)

Stars:

 Chase Williamson, Hannah Fierman, Justin Welborn

14. Blair Witch

After discovering a video showing what he believes to be his vanished sister Heather, James and a group of friends head to the forest believed to be inhabited by the Blair Witch.

Director:

 Adam Wingard

Writer:

 Simon Barrett

Stars:

 James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Corbin Reid

13. Hollow Creek

Seeking inspiration for his latest horror novel Blake Blackman, a writer from New York, retreats to a remote cabin in the Appalachian Mountains. He is secretly accompanied by his lover Angelica Santoro a book illustrator who he's been having an affair with. She brings her dog along with them. Upon arrival they hear an amber alert on the radio and first learn about the case of several boys missing in the area. Soon after they arrive to the cabin her dog starts acting strange like there's someone or something out in the woods. A twist of fate turns the romantic interlude into an abduction-murder case when Angelica follows a lead to one of the missing boys and she mysteriously goes missing. Blake then becomes the prime suspect of her disappearance.

Director:

 Guisela Moro

Writers:

 Guisela Moro, Steve Daron (collaborating writer) Guisela Moro (creator)

Stars:

 Steve Daron, Guisela Moro, Burt Reynolds |

12. Don’t Breath

Hoping to walk away with a massive fortune, a trio of thieves break into the house of a blind man who isn't as helpless as he seems.

Director:

 Fede Alvarez

Writers:

 Fede Alvarez, Rodo Sayagues

Stars:

 Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette 

11. Carnage Park

After botching an ill-conceived bank robbery in a desolate California town, two wannabe crooks flee the scene with a hostage and lead the local lawmen on a dangerous high-speed chase.

Director:

 Mickey Keating

Writer:

 Mickey Keating

Stars:

 Ashley Bell, Pat Healy, James Landry Hébert

10. Frankenstein

A married couple of scientists create a modern-day monster.

Director:

 Bernard Rose

Writer:

 Bernard Rose

Stars:

 Danny Huston, Matthew Jacobs, Dave Pressler

9. Ouja: Origin of Evil

In 1967 Los Angeles, a widowed mother and her 2 daughters add a new stunt to bolster their seance scam business, inviting an evil presence into their home.

Director:

 Mike Flanagan

Writers:

 Mike Flanagan, Jeff Howard  Stiles White (characters) Juliet Snowden (characters)

Stars:

 Elizabeth Reaser, Lulu Wilson, Annalise Basso

8. 10 Cloverfield Lane

After getting in a car accident, a woman is held in a shelter with two men, who claim the outside world is affected by a widespread chemical attack.

Director:

 Dan Trachtenberg

Writers:

 Josh Campbell (story), Matthew Stuecken (story) Josh Campbell (screenplay) &, Matthew Stuecken (screenplay) and, Damien Chazelle (screenplay)

Stars:

 John Goodman, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Gallagher Jr.

7. The Monster

A mother and daughter must confront a terrifying monster when they break down on a deserted road.

Director:

 Bryan Bertino

Writer:

 Bryan Bertino

Stars:

 Zoe Kazan, Ella Ballentine, Aaron Douglas 

6. Before I Wake

A young couple adopt an orphaned child whose dreams - and nightmares - manifest physically as he sleeps.

Director:

 Mike Flanagan

Writers:

 Mike Flanagan, Jeff Howard

Stars:

 Thomas Jane, Kate Bosworth, Jacob Tremblay

5. 31

Five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, Hell-like compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns.

Director:

 Rob Zombie

Writer:

 Rob Zombie

Stars:

 Malcolm McDowell, Richard Brake, Jeff Daniel Phillips

4. The Train to Busan

While a zombie-virus breaks out in South Korea, a couple of passengers struggle to survive on the train from Seoul to Busan.

Director:

 Sang-ho Yeon

Writer:

 Sang-ho Yeon (screenplay)

Stars:

 Yoo Gong, Soo-an Kim, Yu-mi Jung

3. Abattoir

An investigative reporter teams up with a Police officer to solve the mystery of why a seemingly good man murdered her sister's family.

Director:

 Darren Lynn Bousman

Writer:

 Christopher Monfette (screenplay)

Stars:

 Jessica Lowndes, Joe Anderson, Lin Shaye

2. The Conjuring 2

Lorraine and Ed Warren travel to north London to help a single mother raising four children alone in a house plagued by a malicious spirit.

Director:

 James Wan

Writers:

 Carey Hayes (screenplay), Chad Hayes (screenplay), James Wan (screenplay) and David Leslie Johnson (screenplay) (as David Johnson), Carey Hayes (story) & James Wan (story)

Stars:

 Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Madison Wolfe

1.The Autopsy of Jane Doe

A father and son, both coroners, are pulled into a complex mystery while attempting to identify the body of a young woman, who was apparently harboring dark secrets.

Director:

 André Øvredal

Writers:

 Ian B. Goldberg (as Ian Goldberg), Richard Naing

Stars:

 Emile Hirsch, Brian Cox, Ophelia Lovibond

Well, those are my top twenty horror films for 2016. I hoped you enjoyed them. If you haven't seen some of these films I suggest you take the time to do that because they are worth it....

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